AS A YOUNG GIRL I wanted my High School life to be great! I wanted to be cool, to have big boobs and have lots of friends. I don't know why - I guess because it's what I saw on T.V., or what the girls where wearing in high school. When I finally got there I wasn't popular - I didn't have big boobs and the boys made fun of me. My doctor told me when I was fifteen that I was done growing to a towering 4'11 and I almost cried.
     I WENT THROUGH high school with some low and high moments. I didn't have a boyfriend and went on a "first date" when I was a senior, if you can call it that. I also wanted to go to prom with someone hot, a good piece of eye candy - that didn't happen either, but I ended up looking great and had a blast! None of my girlfriends had real serious relationships so I didn't feel pressure. Besides, all the guys in my school were jerks so I graduated and went to my community college.

    THROUGH THE years I met guys, went on dates but hadn't found anyone I felt comfortable with enough to call my boyfriend. I hooked up with some guys but it nothing serious. Still, in the back of my head I wanted to be in a relationship, to have sex, to have that "first love" experience. Even if

I did meet a cute guy who I actually really liked he was either taken or didn't like me. But with all my unsuccessful relationships and dates I have learned what I want and don't want.
     RECENTLY within the last year or so I have felt the pressure to have sex since now I'm back at college, my friends have lost their V-card, and mostly because of my age. Am I unattractive to guys? Is it because my boobs aren't big enough? Do I not have witty comebacks? Is it my glasses? Short body, sometimes quiet disposition?
      SOMETIMES I think and don't feel as pretty as other girls, and sometimes I feel super sexy. I try to have Tonight by John Legend in my head because sometimes I have that moment when you walk into a room and all the guys look at you - where you are empowered and embody grace and beauty. It feels amazing. However, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have someone to cuddle with, no one to just call and say "lets go to the movies", no one to walk on the beach with, or anyone go out to eat dinner with.

     GOING BACK to college is another hard thing because that's all that guys want to do - hook up, "cuddle". I feel like, "DUDE, I just met you". I'm not going to do that! I also don't like being seen openly as a challenge to a guy. I'm not slutty for a reason, don't jump my bones!  I want a guy to want to win me, but because he likes me not because he wants to have sex with a virgin just to add another notch on his belt.

    SO I'M WRITING this to all the girls and women who are struggling with the ideas about sex, who are undecided about their sexual life surrounding their virginity - like myself. It's your decision. You can always ask for advice from friends and family - male or female. But listen up, YOU have the POWER! This summer, I found myself again. I realize my dreams and goals aren't crazy. I've also realized I want to have sex with someone who appreciates me in every way I need to be loved. If it's meant to happen the universe will provide! I'm a 23 year old virgin who is learning to fully love myself, my flaws and everything I about myself. I need to have faith in and never give up!!!

"Don't give up... Don't ever give up."

Love,
  Virgin Supergirl