High School

 High School, We've all been there, will be going there or are still attending. High School is full of dances, parties, friends, sports, clubs, drama, love and the struggles of every day life. 
    High School for me was fun at first 9th grade was a blast until one of  my best friends left to go to Florida, but we still wrote letters all the time until a couple of years ago. I didn't feel the pressure of being in a new school and thought I was cool because my sister was only 2 grades above me. As I got into 10th and 11th grade things changed and I felt trapped and was falling for boys for all the wrong reasons. I always cared about how I looked in High School, looking cute with my matching outfits and I was always that perfect student who worked hard in school. Though I was never in honors I always had a great relationship with my teachers who were more like mentors.  Through them I was able to open up and express myself in a way I couldn't with my classmates. They were all positive female role models I'm very happy to have had in my life at that time. 
    In 10th grade I fell for this boy Micky who was a surfer, totally cute and or course a big jerk who didn't pay any mind to me. But I thought he liked me and would give him my best 'come hither' look but it never worked. I actually don't think he really dated anyone in High School, at least nothing serious just some hook-ups. I joined some clubs and kept the same friends I had in Elementary school who were all quite boring and I didn't go to my first H.S. party til 11th grade. I always wanted my H.S life to be glamorous, like when Lola did in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen by:Dylan Sheldon always exaggerating and trying to make her life seem more interesting. <Read the book, it's way better, I did in H.S. because the movie was coming out> I never quite felt cool enough though, pretty enough. I'm short with small boobs, glasses and I felt nerdy and I remember wishing that Micky would get a clue and like me, I felt like we were so close yet so far away. 
     Well In 11th grade things got a little better but still awkward, I now fell head over heels in love with  Lee, Micky's best friend and another surfer. I obviously was in the mood for tall blonde brooding types. Well I had a class with Lee and we didn't really talk except sometimes in passing but I started going up to him at his locker between classes and talk to him. Which was a big deal for me because I was super shy back then. We were cool for a few weeks and I thought he could like me because he would look at me a lot in class and in the hallways. One day during my gym class this other jerk kid Adam asked if I liked Lee, I said something stupid and trying to be coy with a little smile said yes. Well he blabbed it in front of the gym class, then ran and told Lee; who then decided to completely ignore me. It was horribly embarrassing and on top of that he started dating this blond haired big boobed slut named Christy. By this time my sister was in her first year of college and I only had my semi- close friends and my one closer best friend. But to get over this I joined my schools Bowling team and met lots of cute boys, most of them jerks and made new friends who were cooler than my original ones. I got over Lee but it took me until the next year to fully realize what I jerk he was.
        Senior Year was great because I didn't give a shit about anything. I didn't care about my friends, didn't care about how I looked because I finally got into my own skin as much as someone can in H.S and I felt so Independent.  I was able to go out for lunch so I went out with my new Bowling friends, I excelled in my classes and getting ready for college was exciting and scary at the same time. I became friends with new girls in my classes not like my boring friends since Elementary school, I also stopped talking to those Elementary school friends because I realized I didn't like them and I cut them from my life. <What I was talking about in my last post>  They didn't do anything for me and I realized I could stop faking being nice to them and just do my own thing. I became more independent, going to movies by myself, going on walks alone and to the mall, which is amazing. But I was becoming my own person and it was great, except Prom was coming up.  Lee was totally out of the picture, after taking a break from Christy they both ended up cheating on the other with some other hot person at our school and I didn't want to get with that after. One of my teachers was trying to hook me up with some other guy John but he ended up 'dumping' me for some other girl who I didn't care for. So I thought screw it, I'll go to Prom alone and have a great time. I was also having drama with my old friends with Limo's and ended up in a limo with two couples I haven't talked to in years and 2 more single girl friends that I'd known since Elementary School. 
   As soon as I got to Prom, in my beautiful Prom dress by the way, I talked with a few friends, took pictures but as soon as the music started, girls, I never left the dance floor, I also didn't dance with anyone and It was alright. I think when the slow songs came on I went to the bathroom. It was great seeing all my friends and just having a great time enjoying the last few days of High School. After Prom was another story, we went to a comedy club in the city and it was a bust, the comedians talked all about Prom, and other not funny jokes. We stayed up all night and then I went home and slept for the next few days. 
     After High School ended and I went to Community College and now to my University, I don't talk to anyone from school, except maybe like two/ three close people. I'm friends with a lot of people on Facebook but it's not like we're best friends. This past Semester I read this book Elizabeth and Hazel: Two Women of Little Rock by David Margolick; if you get a chance pick up this amazing and shocking biography about the two women in Little Rock during the 1957 Intergration, Hazel is the tormentor and Elizabeth is the victim. Through their lives both women deal with the repercussions of what happened that day. Elizabeth isn't able to get out of that rut and depression that happened to her in High School while Hazel tries numerous times to make amends and get past High School. I realized now, after 6 years out of High School that it isn't everything. Who you are in H.S. isn't who you'll always be, it doesn't make you who you are forever. Yes you do go through it during the most awkward and hard times of you're young adult life but that doesn't mean  if you're a nerd, that you'll always be one. Or like me you can embrace you're dorkyness and find people who are just as  crazy and weird as you are! Elizabeth couldn't find a way to change so she was always stuck in the past, Hazel tried to shed her prejudiced views and she changed drastically since she graduated. 
     I've seen this so many times on Facebook, how much people change, some for the better others not so much. Some have kids and get married, some are firefighters in their small hometown, others join the military. We go to school all over and others stay at home still partying like it's still High School. I know I've changed SO MUCH since H.S and I'm glad I have because I am a better person and I know what I stand for. 
    I was bullied in H.S. and Middle School and parts of Elementary School because of the way I looked, my eyes were so big like a bug, I couldn't say R's and I had glasses. I got sick in 3rd grade causing me to be out of school for six months which made me feel like an outsider when I got back. As I got older I didn't like when boys would mess with me so I would kick them to get them to stop, I was kinda violent back then. Then as I got older the boys would pick on me because of my booty, saying it's so big, throwing pieces of paper at me, almost making me cry but I never did. I now realize that I have a great body, though I'm small I am in proportion with my body. I hated H.S just like everyone else, some days I wanted to shave my head and just screw it or stay home and not do anything on the weekends but  just because people are bullying you  it's not how it's always going to be. Life is so much bigger and better than that. One kid who I knew in H.S who was picked on because of the way he looked actually graduated and moved to Washington State. Becoming a Hippy and getting married having a baby, which is great because he became who he's meant to be and he's happy. I admire that in him and in the end that's what you're probably suppose to do. Is find the good in things and people, find the good in yourself and try to encourage the people around you to embrace what makes them who they are also.
    Even though I don't have a lot of close friends like some girls did in H.S or have an amazing boyfriend like I wanted I had the best experience I could with what was given to me. I had great encouraging teachers, a few great friends that made going to lunch a SWAT Team challenge and the support of my Bowling team and the new girls in my classes that made it great. 
   I want you ALL to really listen to this because you might be bullied and hate High School but you have to realize what happens in H.S. isn't going to be who you are for the rest of your life. H.S. isn't everything and  I want you all to stay positive and above all LOVE YOURSELF! Be who you're meant to be and don't let others get you down because they don't understand you, they never will so screw them and do you.


Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

LOVE, Virgin Supergirl <3