Greetings Fellow Virgins,

           I figured I'd jump right into this and I'd like to start with the topic that I just realized only a few weeks ago. I had been talking to a guy, let's call him Donny, and Donny and I quickly became friends because we where working on a project together. He was very handsome, in a rough way. I thought he was so attractive! We were at his place to work on our project but we stayed up talking instead. I have to mention he has ADHD, so naturally, his brain was all over the place. Have I already said he is very handsome? On the third night we were hanging out he asked me what the longest I'd been in in a serious relationship. So when I told him I had never been in a serious relationship he, of course, asked me if I was a virgin. It took him by surprise, however he didn't see it as a "bad thing". He later told me if I wanted to have sex with him, he'd be ready to go. I was surprised when he didn't run for the hills and we talked throughout the semester. He understood that I wasn't going to have sex with him because I didn't want to just have sex. He figured we could please each other in other ways, but I wasn't going to do anything like that either. By the end of the semester I was definitely tempted to have sex with him. One night he invited me over at two in the morning and demanded me to come over. I didn't. I think ever since then he might have moved on. So I never got to say goodbye to him before I left to go home. I thought he would text me but you know how that goes. I started working at home and when I didn't hear from him, it drove me crazy! I began worrying about  what I did wrong, what I could have done, and maybe IF I had had sex with him he would have texted me. It was a horrible few weeks, but I slowly got over him. Two months went by and I realized that I had been so desperate to have sex with Donny, or any guy I was talking to. Although I didn't feel any pressure to have sex with Donny, I still thought that if I had sex with him when I had the chance he would have talked to me during my summer home. However, I find that If you're that desperate to have sex with someone it is probably not meant to happen. Or you'll fall for anything! If guys tell you you look great in those jeans or you have amazing eyelashes - I've been told that before, he is probably charming his way to your pants. If you're desperate, you WILL fall for it and possibly loose your virginity to someone who doesn't care at all about you. It has been four months since I spoke to Donny, and I don't need to! I'm SO glad I didn't loose my virginity to a guy who wasn't looking for anything serious - a red flag. Run for the hills because that guy doesn't want what you're looking for.
      My friend, whom we'll call Holly, told me of her virgin friend, who I've met a few times. "Kelly" had gotten so drunk when they went out to a country club that she was making out with four guys. She ended up having SEX with one of them in the back of the ally behind the club! She barely remembers this because she was blacked-out drunk. I was shocked when Holly told me, I thought it was disgusting and trashy. I realized that as much as I liked Kelly she was very desperate to have sex and ended up doing it in the worst way possible! I want to emphasize the difference of sex between someone who is desperate and someone who is looking to be in a serious relationship.

    I, now, realized that I WAS desperate. I thought If I didn't have sex with Donny or another guy I would have been the biggest loser, as if there is NO ONE else out there willing to have sex with me. Please, do not feel pressure or desperate. In the long run you might regret it and you don't want that to happen! Believe that there is someone out there who will make you feel special, who will chase after you and make you feel like a million bucks. He's out there you just have to trust yourself.

“Dont let someone become a priority in your life when you are always an option in their life”

Love and  Rockets,

VS.

    AS A YOUNG GIRL I wanted my High School life to be great! I wanted to be cool, to have big boobs and have lots of friends. I don't know why - I guess because it's what I saw on T.V., or what the girls where wearing in high school. When I finally got there I wasn't popular - I didn't have big boobs and the boys made fun of me. My doctor told me when I was fifteen that I was done growing to a towering 4'11 and I almost cried.
     I WENT THROUGH high school with some low and high moments. I didn't have a boyfriend and went on a "first date" when I was a senior, if you can call it that. I also wanted to go to prom with someone hot, a good piece of eye candy - that didn't happen either, but I ended up looking great and had a blast! None of my girlfriends had real serious relationships so I didn't feel pressure. Besides, all the guys in my school were jerks so I graduated and went to my community college.

    THROUGH THE years I met guys, went on dates but hadn't found anyone I felt comfortable with enough to call my boyfriend. I hooked up with some guys but it nothing serious. Still, in the back of my head I wanted to be in a relationship, to have sex, to have that "first love" experience. Even if

I did meet a cute guy who I actually really liked he was either taken or didn't like me. But with all my unsuccessful relationships and dates I have learned what I want and don't want.
     RECENTLY within the last year or so I have felt the pressure to have sex since now I'm back at college, my friends have lost their V-card, and mostly because of my age. Am I unattractive to guys? Is it because my boobs aren't big enough? Do I not have witty comebacks? Is it my glasses? Short body, sometimes quiet disposition?
      SOMETIMES I think and don't feel as pretty as other girls, and sometimes I feel super sexy. I try to have Tonight by John Legend in my head because sometimes I have that moment when you walk into a room and all the guys look at you - where you are empowered and embody grace and beauty. It feels amazing. However, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have someone to cuddle with, no one to just call and say "lets go to the movies", no one to walk on the beach with, or anyone go out to eat dinner with.

     GOING BACK to college is another hard thing because that's all that guys want to do - hook up, "cuddle". I feel like, "DUDE, I just met you". I'm not going to do that! I also don't like being seen openly as a challenge to a guy. I'm not slutty for a reason, don't jump my bones!  I want a guy to want to win me, but because he likes me not because he wants to have sex with a virgin just to add another notch on his belt.

    SO I'M WRITING this to all the girls and women who are struggling with the ideas about sex, who are undecided about their sexual life surrounding their virginity - like myself. It's your decision. You can always ask for advice from friends and family - male or female. But listen up, YOU have the POWER! This summer, I found myself again. I realize my dreams and goals aren't crazy. I've also realized I want to have sex with someone who appreciates me in every way I need to be loved. If it's meant to happen the universe will provide! I'm a 23 year old virgin who is learning to fully love myself, my flaws and everything I about myself. I need to have faith in and never give up!!!

"Don't give up... Don't ever give up."

Love,
  Virgin Supergirl