Roommates, it’s a hard line to cross. You either meet online and don’t really know the person, are put together in college and try to make something like a friendship work, or you’re best friends. Well as you all know I’m living with my best friend, Tiffany and her boyfriend and I thought it would be great, I mean I hung out with her almost everyday last year and we were such close friends. That all changed when I started dating her cousin, and her boyfriend got intoxicated, causing problems. Then I went home for the holiday’s and didn’t really talk to her that often, I’m back but I’ve been staying at my boyfriends during the weekends. Which has definitely put a strain on our relationship.
I didn’t even see the "change" or problem, until she pointed it out to me. It’s really hard now, because she said since I’ve been seeing my boyfriend, her cousin, that we haven’t really hung out so she’s leaning on her boyfriend/ ex-boyfriend more. Excuse me but how is that my fault, we both had really busy school/work schedules last semester and it was hard on us and this semester is not any better; but the fact that you are “Broken-up” with your boyfriend means you can do a lot of things Independently! That’s one thing I’ve learned from being single for the past 10 years of my life and having shitty friends is that you can do a lot of things on your own, and they’re quite nice to do alone. I know at the same time it is horribly lonely, and you wish you had someone to share it with. I just wish she made more of an effort, she can still text me, she can still ask me to have dinner with her some night. She relies so much on her boyfriend and maybe since we haven’t hung out that I’ve created the monster and she is back to being best friends with her ‘boyfriend’. I really have no clue on how their relationship is, all I need to know is what’s up her ass when it comes to me. I’m finally really freaking happy in my life and she’s tried numerous times to freaking change that and it’s annoying and unfortunate because that’s not what friends do.
I’ve loved the TV show The Hills since it’s been out, It’s my guilty pleasure and I love watching it because I’ve actually learned a lot of great love/ life advice. I think it’s great because Lauren Conrad is your beautiful, down to earth heroin while everyone else besides Whitney Port are just there causing problems. I have learned never choose a guy over a terrific job opportunity; like Heidi did with Spencer. I’ve learned to never date a dick-head like Spenser who’s controlling, annoying, a douche bag and a bad guy. I have also should have seen that I should never have moved in with my best friend. Heidi chose Spenser to date, be with, and hastily move in with instead of her girlfriend Lauren because Spenser clouded her mind with hateful things about her. Lauren knew Spenser was a jerk and not a good guy but Heidi believed him and not her. In my situation right now I don’t know who I am, am I Heidi for spending the weekend and maybe a night during the week with my boyfriend? Am I Lauren for trying to help my roommate get out of a bad relationship with her ‘boyfriend’? I feel like at times I am Lauren for trying to help my friend see that her ‘boyfriend’ is a lousy guy, yes they might be ‘best friends’ and never let that go but they’re both not good for each other. Then I feel like Heidi for leaving Lauren all the time and going to hang out with my boyfriend; but Tiffany's ‘boyfriend’ is always here, it’s not like he goes out and does anything for himself he just stay’s here and is a sad pathetic person. Who is in no way helping his drinking problems because he just bought three bottles of Rum and Vodka.
It’s hard because we haven’t really had a conversation since I’ve been back from holiday and they have conversations about whatever and take care of their reptiles all the time, that I feel like I’m just there and they’re just being assholes. We had a huge blow out too, when I was annoyed because she had this problem with me, but wouldn't tell me, so I tried to talk about it. Then noticed that when I was in the living room and they would come home, they wouldn't talk to me, they would have a full conversation between themselves, like I wasn't in the same room as them. I texted her to see what was going on, and she didn't get back to me, then she said that I've been busy and didn't seem like we were friends anymore but rather roommates. So I wanted to confront her about it (which I'm not good at sometimes) That Monday when she came home, thankfully alone, I went to talk to her and she said she had not time to talk to me because she was busy packing for spring break, she didn't have time to talk or fix our relationship. So am I suppose to wait until she got back to figure it out? Well again she told me I've changed, and I don't go downtown anymore, blah blah blah. Then we didn't really solve anything, I finished eating, took a break to think things out then when back in. We yelled at each other, and basically the whole problem she has with my is with my boyfriend! It's all his fault and non of hers, she said that he's 'controlling' because she's heard it from her mother. I told her she know's nothing about him, and she should create a grown up relationship with him. But no she can't do that. She's the one in a controlling, abusive relationship and isn't in a healthy supportive, loving relationship like I am. This happened the last week of Feburary.
It’s funny because I try to be the bigger person since I’m not talking to my roommates, I decided to take my father’s advice and say hello to my “friend” and I have a few times, except tonight I walked into my apartment and they were both sitting on the couch watching TV and they didn’t say anything to me, and I realized that I always said hi to them first, they’ve never made any attempt to talk to me. So I’m not going to talk with them, the ball is in their court and I really don’t care. I feel bad because we were so close Tiffany and I, but now we’ve said too many things and we both don’t like each other’s boyfriends so it’s not going to work because she’s going to stay in her controlling relationship and I’ll be happy and successful in mine. I don’t have more remorse over us not being friends anymore. The only time’s i’ve been upset was when she hurt my feelings and when she was making me feel bad for not know what her problem was. It hurt me that she had problems and told me except she it was always like it was my problem, that i’ve changed, it was questioned if my boyfriend was nice to me, always ‘cautioning’ me to what I’m doing and she probably wanted to control me and keep me into her and not him.
They will probably end up staying together because she feels like she needs to ‘fix’ her boyfriend while I don’t feel the need to ‘fix’ my boyfriend at all, just try to help him eat healthier. She’s going to be in the same situation as her brother and sister-in-law because when her boyfriend gets drunk and treats her like shit or goes out and does something stupid she’ll try to help him but it’s only going to painful for her and not him, cause he won’t remember it. Convenient for him not her; or she can be in the relationship longer then realize that she’s so unhappy when it’s too late and they have to get a nasty divorce. I’m not sure what’ll happen and as soon as I move out and continue on with my life, I don’t care.
I really have to thank my family, and boyfriend who support me 100% in my decisions of dealing with this huge falling out and it turned to be quite vicious between the three of us, texting and then allegedly making me think that I did something, when I really didn’t. Now we’re not talking, clearly not at all if I don’t say anything first. I hate writing about negative things like this but I have to in order for me to forget about it. I’m going to graduate and move forward being the best version of myself.
“Spend life with who makes you happy, not who you have to impress.”
Love Always!
Virgin Supergirl
