Hello Ladies!! It’s been a while, and I finally want to write about somethings, except my mind is still swimming with ideas, thoughts and just trying to make sense of things, but here we go!
I finally graduated!!! That was exciting and fun and a wonderful time with my family and boyfriends family! I also finally got my diploma in the mail!! Since I took a summer class they sent them out later, I told my parents to put it in a very nice frame we got from a family friend. It’s crazy being here in this college town and not going to college, while all my friends do. But I really don’t miss the homework, or stress of studying or reading boring books. I wish I could learn more about the topics I took, but without all the homework.
I’ve had a nice summer, I was able to go home for a few weeks and spend time with my family and my little nephew! That alone was wonderful, then my family rents a cottage by the water ever summer and I went out there for a week and my boyfriend came out to visit! Which made the time and trip even more special! He’s a great man and I was so happy that he got along great with my family, helped out, enjoyed the trip into town and didn’t get drunk! He was respectful and had a lot of fun at a place that I love.
When I got back here I asked him if he wanted to move in together. My lease is up the end of this month and I know he wanted to move out also, so why not take our relationship to the next level and move in! I hated only seeing him on the weekends, and really missed him when I went home! So we’re moving in next month and I’m so excited! it’s not a cool, exciting place to live because there aren’t a lot in my town, just generic apartment complexes all over. But it’s got a pool, gym, a game room and access to a lot of things which is good for us.
I’m also starting two new jobs!! At the same time so it’s going to be a little interesting to get back into working retail and helping customers, it’s been a while for me! But they’re cool jobs that I know I’ll do great with so I’m not too worried.
Before I left to visit home, my roommate Tiffany and I talked and we went to dinner one night, we were fine until she asked me why I was mad at her. I told her it was because she said I changed and didn’t like my boyfriend. She went on to still believe that my boyfriend might be abusive......he’s told me that he, while drunk with an ex, also drunk, got upset because his dog got loose and to get out of the closet pushed his ex and she fell into a laundry basket. She flipped out and soon after they broke up. Well I fully understand that being in an abusive relationship whether verbally, mentally or physically is WRONG and you should NEVER be in those situations because you DESERVE better. I also understand that when people are in a toxic relationship, if you’re an alcoholic, take drugs for depression or bipolar disorder, are a drug addict or any of those, when you are fighting with them things could get messy. My cousin was dating a crazy chick years ago and they got into a fight and he pushed her down a flight of stairs...... does that make him abusive? Does that mean he’ll do it again?? If he’s in a toxic relationship with someone who’s crazy and needs to get help for things yes, but he’s never done it since and now he’s happily married with two children.
I understand this and I’m not taking drugs for anything, I don’t have any mental demons haunting me, so my boyfriend and I will NEVER be in that situation! Tiffany doesn’t understand that and it hurts me that she doesn't trust me or even care to get to know my boyfriend (Her cousin) better! She also said that I wouldn’t “Buck up” like his other girlfriends, like I said I wouldn’t be in that situation to begin with to cause that issue. So we’re talking conversantly, but I’m in no way telling her anything personal about my life because she doesn’t care.
Now, she has ‘broken up’ with her boyfriend and is already seeing a new man, while still sleeping in the same bed as her ex. They have a pretty fucked up idea of what breaking up means when you live together. They’re two very nice couches here in the living room that one of them can sleep on! I am glad that she’s taking a stand and not putting up with his bullshit anymore, and that he’ll finally get some help. The funny thing about this whole thing is that Tiffany is telling me all this great stuff about this new man and how he treats her well and blah blah blah...... which is how I felt when I started dating my boyfriend except she didn’t care to hear, because all she wanted to tell me was how she heard these things about him and shit. So clearly it’s all about her and her new man, while her ex and new man don’t know anything about each other. It’s beyond ridiculous and still is so fucked up how we treated each other but how she thought I was mad at her.... how can you forget why we didn’t speak for four months!?! REALLY!!! After I move out, I don’t think I’ll talk to her that much, although she wants to go on a double date with us and her new man, but I’m going to be civil to her at family events and if she ever really wants to talk about what happened then I’m willing to talk.
So I’m looking forward to moving out, having a peaceful and zen new apartment with my boyfriend! I can’t believe we’ve been dating for almost a year! It’s crazy how things have changed with myself and where I am in my life. I love him so much and appreciate all the things he does for me! He may not buy me flowers all the time or take me out to nice restaurants, but when he does show me how much he loves me it’s grand gestures of love. Cute unique ways that I really love and adore that he does. I know that we’re two people looking for someone to love and be with, which happens to be each other.
My old teacher in High School would always tell me that the man I fall in love with might not be in my home town he might be from out West or Europe! So coming South for school and finding him through my now ‘ex-bestfriend’ is fate! I thought coming to school here would help my professional career, and school would be great... well school ended up being great for the few professors and amazing classes I took, and my career is dwindling down or moving to other states, so I’m glad coming here has given me a great boyfriend and a new direction in which to travel.
So now I feel better because I got down most of what I wanted to say, my improvements and also bumps from Tiffany that still gnaw at me sometimes. I feel like the person I was when we where best friends was the old me, the single, carefree girl who wasn’t in love with a man, or was thinking about my future. I’ve matured so much since dating my boyfriend and I know that we can still be silly goofballs, but I’m not going downtown to meet guys or dance with them. I have a man and we can go out and do adult fun things together! :)
Change is good for all of us, I know sometimes is hard, I’ve hated change in the past and I probably will in the future; but we have to learn from the change and continue to be someone who you’re happy and proud to be. I’m glad I’m at this point in my life with who I am, part of me wants to live like the women in Sex and the City and dress up and go to swanky bars, but we really don’t have places like that, so I’ll have to wait until I move back home for that! haha. You just have to be with the people who make you happy, who build you up and who REALLY care and love you. I know that I have a small group of people who get me and love me, but I’m happy with who they are.
LOVE,
V.S <3
