As the new year begins I look back at the past year that has changed my life immensely, in both bad and good ways. I have grown so much in 2013 and I’ve felt that I’ve done a complete renovation of myself, soul and mind. Upon my 25th birthday that just passed I’m looking back on all that’s happened to me and I’m completely happy in who I am as a woman and I’ve had so much clarity in my life.
I started 2013 with loosing my Virginity, and I was so upset and distraught, although I wasn’t depressed and didn’t cry too much about it, it still bothered me. I sought help from my school therapist and tried through music to move on. I hung out with a few guys between that and my Ex, but I wasn’t looking for them. Those guys weren’t men, they weren’t looking for a serious relationship, just a booty call. Which you know, I don’t want, they were insecure men who didn’t know how to handle me and I really didn’t like them. Then I met my Ex and thought he was pretty cool... his exterior was cool, the way he dressed his “nice” car... it looked all good on paper but not in real life. He was a horrible boyfriend in the way that, he didn’t treat me with respect, he didn’t like me enough and he didn’t treat me like I deserve to be treated, which is like a princess.
Now I’m dating a terrific guy, a sexy, sweet, funny guy who really makes me feel beautiful and treats me like a Princess. There’s so many things I love about him and that he does for me it’s hard for me to list them all. One thing he did was since I stayed at school for my birthday he set up a surprise birthday party for me. He blindfolded me, drove to the the place which was a restaurant we’ve never eaten at and invited a few friends and his family. It was a wonderful surprise and I’ve never had one before, he also took the day off from work to spend the day with me, which was beautiful. He loves me so much and so deep that I can’t believe it; and having someone love me that much makes me happy. I love him too and I show him in small ways, by sending pictures of what I’m doing, leaving him notes on his bed so when he gets home from work he can read them. I got him so many gifts to give him for Christmas that I’m so excited to give them, and they’re creative thoughtful gifts to give someone. I can’t believe I found someone who loves me for me and thinks I’m the best thing to happen in his life.
I never thought I would find a guy, that it would happen. I know I’m young but they’ve been so many mishaps that I was getting worried. I mean after I broke- up with my ex I was kind of looking forward to being single again, but I also was worried about finding a good guy. Going on dates with jerks one after another is annoying and especially in my town, it’s full of non-committal men. I also haven’t met anyone at my school that’s been amazing or worth pursuing, even as a friend. So when my boyfriend first asked me out, it wasn’t even like I thought twice about it, we talked all the time and it felt right and it was a very smooth transition between my ex and him. I really think it was because I was in a good place with myself and I knew what I didn’t want from my next boyfriend. Then he came in and looks like a bad guy, with a shaved head and tattoos, but he’s the sweetest biggest teddy bear in the world. I realized this by his smile and laugh, he jokes around a lot and is very silly, I just needed to get to know him better, other then his tough exterior.
I also have been really healthy, and have a loving family that supports me and wants me to succeed, along with some wonderful friends and professors who look out for me. My professors have all shown me that I am creative, smart, funny and I have a lot to offer to the world and the people in my life. This encouragement is wonderful to have especially in your twenties and when you’re brain is all over with what you’re parents want you to do, what you want to do, what your friends want you to do. It’s all a huge confusion and you can get overwhelmed. Which I did and I sought help from my therapist and my one professor who’s now my mentor. He’s such a brilliant man and encourages me to keep writing and exploring new things that make me happy. I am motivated to do them and enjoy my life to the fullest.
So in 2014 I’m not going to set any goals or resolutions... I never do anyway, but I really want to just enjoy life in the moment with my boyfriend, friends, family and in my classes. I do want to figure out I’m going to do after I graduate but I don’t want to stress about it. I have some options in mind but I don’t want to say I’m going to do something then never fill it. I also want this wonderful blog to grow and encourage other girls to believe in themselves and love themselves. I love writing and even though I don’t do it all the time, or finish some books I’m writing I still love getting that feeling or encouragement to write and It feels great to have that outlet.
I hope to the lades reading this that you are feeling better in who you are as a woman and that through my struggles, life experiences and great moments you can embrace who you are and go on each day not giving a crap about anyone but yourself. I want you to know that through all that’s happened in this past year I’ve grown tremendously and have seen that my life and the people in it make me happy and I’m much stronger and smarter then I thought I was. I look forward to the future with hope, love and a “Bring it on” mentality. I know I can do anything I just have to go out and grab it.
XOXO
Love Always,
Virgin Supergirl.
